The Ranting Penguin sums it up rather well… “What a tragedy for My Lord Myners, to fall so spectacularly from grace so fucking quickly after his elevation to the peerage so he could serve in Gordon’s Government of the Talent Free” . It would seem that Lord Myners may  not be fit for purpose and according to Sir Tom McKillop, former RBS Chairman, he did know about Fred The Shred’’s massive pension. Conservative MP Michael Fallon, a member of the committee, said that Lord Myners had misled Parliament and should resign. President Obama has arrived in our sceptred isle on Airforce One and two women prattled on for what seemed hours about absolutely nothing as far as I could hear on the BBC’s pointless live coverage. Obama shook hands with Alistair Darling and then jumped on a US helicopter to be transported to the US Ambassador’s residence.  There is no record of whether he asked Chancellor Darling if he knew if  Jacqui Smith’s husband had an orange penis. BBC hyperventilators, it is believed, think not. Chase me, ladies, I’m in the cavalry reports: Fritzl’s Approval Ratings Fall Below Brown’s “The approval ratings of Austrian rapist Josef Fritzl have fallen below Gordon Brown’s according to a Daily Mirror YouGov poll published today which suggests that Brown would win a 20-seat majority at the next election if the Conservative Party were led by Fritzl. Just over 7% of those polled said they were satisfied with the prime minister’s performance, compared to 3% for Fritzl, and 11% for burglars. Brown must hold an election by June 2010 or declare himself Lord Protector.” Douglas Carswell MP does his best to keep the flag fl;ying by writing on his blog: Another reason MPs are resented There’d be much less resentment over MP perks if they were all brilliant at representing the country. Gordon Brown, out of the blue, said: “Stop cash for MP’s second homes’… finally aware, unsually for our prime minister, of mounting public irritation with troughing MPs.   It would seem that we can’t even hold a party at the House without police having to be involved. The Independent reports : “Police used CS spray to break up a scuffle in the Houses of Parliament last night, arresting a man who was a guest at a drinks reception hosted by Conservative Party chairman Eric Pickles.”  The hunt is on from the bloggers and the journos for the ‘miscreants’. And, just to show that we are really on top of things in Britain we are even letting that absurd posturing miniature Frenchman, President Sarkozy,  into the country - even after he said that that ‘Anglo-saxons’ are to blame for Le Crunch-Credit. This may well be true but we don’t need to take any lessons from The Frenchies about anything - well, apart from rugby, perhaps wine making, cooking, film making, literature - and all the good things in life. In the preceding paragraph I am simply following in a fine tradition perfected by Goebbels (See comment on Boris article)  and now used by Boris Johnson to great effect…  of appearing to say one thing, yet saying another….. although Boris does it with rather more style and elan. And finally…before I nip off to see if the Police have started spraying CS gas about or if any protesters have started arriving in tanks - do visit Obnoxio The Clown in the morning with your coffee… today he is direct and to the point with his Send Your MP a couple of photos campaign: “ Print them off, stick them in an envelope and send them to your MP. Maybe the fuckers will get the hint this time.” Oh… and, rather bizarrely, my brother Charon QC has taken to doing imaginary podcasts with Gordon Brown.

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On the eve of G20 Britain leads the world in bizarre politics…

Bullying  (or attempts to bully) is one of the least attractive of human traits, often experienced in the playground sadly, but when seen in adults, and worse, by members of the legal profession -  is a disgrace. Today John Bolch of Family Lore reported on a story published by The Telegraph about allegations made against a barrister.  To cut a long story short, John Bolch repeatedly asked the barrister involved (who had cautioned John Bolch to remove the references to him on Family Lore) to answer a very simple question:  Is it true that allegations are being made against you as reported in The Telegraph? Mr Marc Beaumont of Windsor Chambers   did not wish to waste his time with John Bolch’s perfectly reasonable enquiry (and offer to remove the reference on Family Lore  if it transpired that The Telegraph was mistaken about allegations being made) - and threatened to add John as a party to the ‘future defamation proceedings faced by several parties’ . Enter Geeklawyer - in a beautifully constructed piece of writing… “Memo to idiot barristers: When you are in a hole stop digging…” Geeklawyer makes his views on bullying perfectly clear. Rightly. Read

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Hey ho… hey ho… it’s off to dig we go…

While we do not  yet live in a dystopic society, the dysfunctional nature of modern life; forged on an anvil of oppressive religion and laws devised to suit the needs of the ruling elite of times past, leave us in 21st century Britain with more laws than the  apparatus of the state can remember, let alone operate effectively.  Britain leads the world in the covert and overt surveillance of its people with more CCTV cameras than any other country on earth, a raft of anti-terror laws and criminal and quasi-criminal laws pumped out  of Westminster almost daily as politicians regulate a society that is moving dangerously close to being one of the most over-regulated  in Europe and, possibly, the world…  a society which has seen civil liberties eroded significantly over the past ten years of Labour rule. I am no Tory but I marvel with no pleasure at how a Labour government, elected on the back of a promise to represent the less fortunate in our society, should enact laws which are being misused by councils and petty officials and which are being used to slowly take away the rights and freedoms we once enjoyed. We talk blithely about British justice being the best in the world - it does have many good qualities - but our legal profession is in danger of being reduced to the role of undertaker and embalmer to a once more free country. So what of lawyers and our role in this world? Lawyers are under no more of a duty than plumbers, dentists and taxidermists, to act for society as a whole, to act as a bulwark against oppressive government rule, to take an active and professional interest in freedom and civil rights  and the truth of the matter is that most don’t. We don’t have one legal profession, we have many. We have two branches to the ‘profession’: solicitors and barristers,  each  with different duties and responsibilities.   ‘Magic Circle’  and other corporate-commercial lawyers - as is their right - rarely, if ever come across civil liberty issues - save when a client faces the prospect of prosecution for a white collar crime.  These lawyers represent the interests of business, individuals or corporate entities and government. Private client lawyers generally represent the interests of those who wish to create trusts, optimise their income or avoid tax or purchase property, commodities or goods and they too are, generally, not involved in individual issues of civil liberties.  That is their chosen field of law. That is the work they are trained to do. Listening to those who represent the profession talking about independence, about professionalism, about leading the world in the provision of legal services is enjoyable, but is it any more than ‘hype’ or  ‘blether’ as we say North of the border?  If lawyers in the business and wealthy private client sector don’t render a high quality service, there are plenty who do and who will, gladly, relieve those who don’t of the responsibility for doing so. So, what are we left with in terms of lawyers who take upon themselves the duty and responsibility for representing the less fortunate, those who face prosecution for a crime they didn’t commit, those who need advice in a contentious divorce, those who need the help that our government should provide? What are we left with of a legal profession of 140,000 and more lawyers who have the skills, the knowledge, the desire to ensure that our civil liberties are maintained, that law is applied according to law, that the police act properly, that other officials do not abuse their powers? I don’t know the precise answer, but I doubt that it would amount to much more than 15-20 per cent of the profession, if that. And then what do we do to enable these remaining lawyers to act effectively? What does the government do to help these remaining lawyers?  The government has reduced legal aid in criminal law, family and other civil law fields where there is a demonstrable need for the skills of a highly trained lawyer to represent the vulnerable.  Law Centres can barely function without charitable support and civil liberty organisations, often staffed by lawyers, have also to rely on charity to operate, to protest in a reasoned manner when government acts unfairly or acts to reduce our freedoms. It is a disgrace to our nation that we are in danger of returning to the days when ‘Justice’ was open only, like the doors of The Ritz Hotel,  to those of means, power and influence.  It is a disgrace that legal aid in criminal, family and some civil areas where the vulnerable need protection is being reduced to a point where experienced lawyers are just not able to work for the money provided. Not all lawyers are the ‘fat cats’ beloved of the tabloid press. If a barrister or solicitor, after years of expensive training and now faced with the prospect of huge education debt,  is not able to afford to do this much needed work - the vulnerable will ultimately go unadvised and unrepesented in civil matters, the innocent will not receive proper representation when prosecuted for serious and complex crime and, I venture to suggest,  the police and public officials will feel more confident about using the extensive powers they enjoy in the knowledge that their use is unlikely to be contested by an experienced lawyer -  leaving the burden on judges to redress the balance of strong against weak in court. This may sound extreme - and to some extent I have chosen language carefully to paint a bleak picture -  but those in the profession I have talked to in recent months paint a very bleak picture of our future if we lose the talents of experienced lawyers simply because they cannot afford to do this much needed work. What is ‘justice’ when the strong are well represented and the weak not? Over to you……? Finally… I leave you with this rather chilling piece by Ian Parker-Joseph of The Libertarian Party UK: Just who is planning the violence in London next week? update “When Police Commanders are reported to have said of the over hyped expected violence at the G20 marches that they are ‘up for it’, I seriously begin to wonder whether our prediction that the Government, and the Police, are actually looking to provoke the expected clashes. An article in the Guardian Friday evening tells us: Yesterday, the Metropolitan police was understood to have contacted a number of protest groups warning that the main day of protest, Wednesday, 1 April would be “very violent”, and senior commanders have insisted that they are “up for it, and up to it”, should there be any trouble. Is this what you would call responsible policing?”

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Cry God for Harry, St George and England (not forgetting Wales)….

Today I am talking to Ekaterina Zelenova, a recently called barrister, about her search for pupillage.  Ekaterina is also the author of Android’s Reminiscences - a stylish law blog. Listen to the podcast | Podcast version for iTunes

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Lawcast 122: Ekaterina Zelenova, Barrister on her search for pupillage

Today I am talking to Ekaterina Zelenova, a recently called barrister, about her search for pupillage.  Ekaterina is also the author of Android’s Reminiscences - a stylish law blog. Listen to the podcast | Podcast version for iTunes

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Lawcast 122: Ekaterina Zelenova, Barrister on her search for pupillage

Rome fiddles while Nero burns? The country is going through the deepest recession since the Second World War, the G20 countries are to meet shortly but it would appear that some people have other things on their minds. Objection! Judges reject new robes The Independent: High Court judiciary say Betty Jackson designs make them look like characters from ‘Star Trek’ The Queen also appears to have matters of State on her mind. Ian Parker-Joseph, leader of The Libertarian Party UK asks if The Queen is thinking of dissolving Parliament following recent trips to The Palace by The Governor of The Bank of England and The Chief of The Defence Staff.  Are we to have a ‘Very British Junta?” Charon QC considers the matter. More fiddling while Rome burns occurred yesterday when a matter of national and pressing importance resulted in Parliament having to discuss this today - The Independent reports: “Royal succession rules may be reformed. Royal succession rules may be reformed. Buckingham Palace and PM in talks to give women equal rights to throne” I cannot really understand why this matter, hardly one of the great issues of our day, has to be resolved now given that The Queen is likely to live for another 20 years and celebrate her 100th birthday and there is no immediate sign of the wayward Princes wishing to marry nice catholic girls…. or is there? The issue has been tabled by Lib-Dem MP Evan Harris, to end the “uniquely discriminatory” rules laid down by the 1701 Act of Settlement. Res ipsa loquitur. Too young to retire at 70? We should work our judges until they are at least 75… In 1916 the Earl of Halsbury heard a case on the Appellate Committee of the House of Lords at 92. The Judicial Pensions and Retirement Act 1993 now provides that judges must retire at 70. The Times: is pre-occupied this morning with the thought that Supreme Court judges should work until they are 75. The news, law reports, an update to blogs and the daily news podcast is now up on Insite Law

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27th March: I bring news of many things…

Is it time to call in the Generals? Yesterday, Ian Parker-Joseph joked, following Governor of the Bank of England Mrvyn King’s audience with The Queen (an event without precedent?),  that it would only be a matter of time before The Queen invityed the Generals in. Well… she has done just that.. or rather, Air Chief Marshal Sir Jock Stirrup (Chief of the Defence Staff) has popped over to The Palace for a cuppa… or was it more?  Perhaps to advise about ‘readiness’?  Who knows? Perhaps Her Majesty just wanted an update on The Queen’s Flight or to know if her son ‘Airmiles Andy’ was using any of the aircraft for his important work near foreign golf courses? ? Today - Ian Parker-Joseph, leader of the Libertarian Party UK, reports: “Brown and Mandelson are both out of the country, and the signals are coming thick and fast, they are even re running ‘To play the King’ and ‘House of Cards’ on Sky… The madness that is NuLabour and the European project must be brought to and end, quickly. Could Her Majesty be seriously looking to sack Brown and force an election?” You may think that, Ian - I couldn’t possibly comment…. to borrow a much loved phrase from a particualrly venal, albeit fictional, exemplar of the political species. So, with Dan Hannan MEP ripping into Brown , with Brown being pilloried in polticial blogs and the dead sea press, with The City distinctly unimpressed by the offer to purcahse £1.75 billion of government IOUs yesterday - is it time for change? Is it time for an election? Can The Queen do it? YES, SHE CAN?

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Stick it up your Junta Mr Brown?

Major re-design of Insite Law. The magazine has grown rapidly in recent months and the front page was taking too long to load.  I have now re-structured the page to create five new sections, each with its own page: News, Reports, From the blogs, Latest podcasts and Profession.  The magazine should, hopefully, be easier to use and allow me to expand coverage as I plan to do. Visit Insite Law 25th March: News and daily podcast up on Insite Law

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25th March: New design for Insite Law mag

I met up with Geeklawyer on Friday for a short lunch. We talk together on his ridiculous white Google phone after he decided that we just had to do a podcast.  Here is the result.  I’ll get my coat… Listen to the podcast (And remember, do not do this at home - we are professionals)

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Drunken ramblings from London?…

I see that my cousin Charon QC  has been busy having a go at His Holiness ( infra ). While I would not wish to provoke yet another schism in the church, especially after that rather embarrassing business over the British holocaust denying bishop ,  it is not particularly helpful to the wider interests of those of us on…shall we say… the financial wing of the church… to have His Holiness calling on our wonderful friends who lead countries in Africa to stop engaging in well established principles of administration and  ‘best practice’ by asking them to stamp out corruption. Selling relics is so 15th century… now we offer a range of services, including Premier Platimum Absolution which covers pretty well every sin from corruption to mass genocide… for a fee, of course. For many years the Church enjoyed power , prestige, influence, great wealth and the private pleasures of the flesh by preying on the superstition and lack of education of the people it sought to have power over.  King Henry VIII started the rot by getting rid of the Pope and grabbing the land and wealth owned by the Church under the wonderful euphemism of ‘Reformation’ and set up a model more convenient to his politico-legal needs to establish a dynasty. Now we share with our brethren in other faiths a world of converts much diminished by education and seek to convert the remaining ill educated peoples of the world to our ways. We have had some success but the internet, the spread of television and people like Hitchens and Dawkins flogging their God Delusion books through Amazon and all good bookshops has made it much more difficult to pass the collection plate around on Sundays - although we are doing good trade in ‘Weddings in Church for the modern godless couple’ , particularly in our more ‘historic’ churches and …. we have upped the stakes by doing wine tastings on Sunday mornings and slipping in a bit of absolution and a complimentary wafer  as our congregation sips the wine. I am often asked if I believe in God.  I smile beningnly, raise my arms to the heavens and say ‘God is within us all’… which usually does the business.   Now, if you forgive me, I have matters to attend to… we are developing a package for governments that are running out of money to pay their police and armed forces.  We have a working title for it… ‘ Operation Put the Fear of God back into your people’. In the name of the  Father… the son…. Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo

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In the name of the father… the son….